No one's flawless, I get it, but you've got to admit there are people closer to it than anyone else. Sucks to have them close by so that you can get compared and judged almost every other second of your life. Maybe that's a little overboard, but I think that's pretty much what gets me most of the time. Like how people are infinitely good when I am such a..okay, I need to stop coming online so often, because all I can use to describe myself is 'bitch'. Oh, my life.
Oh yea, and it's not like I'll ever have something to hate about these people. Because they're so close to perfection I can't even find fault with them. Exaggerating, but well, maybe then again these 'faults' may seem too insignificant to me as compared to the greatness of their being. Okay, damn it, I'm being incoherent again.
Main point is, I hate myself for being so jealous of others. I really don't hate them, come on I've got more sense than that. But I'm pretty much hating myself for having these thoughts.
Okay whatever is wrong with me today. It's like some...I don't know, confessions? Okay whatever, maybe it's just an explosion of emotions because I've had enough of people assuming me to be the person they see on the outside (I don't even know what good they see in me) and being all surprised when I'm not what they presumed to be. Oh well, I think I only have myself to blame, for crafting such an intricate and flawless mask that portrays me to be a kind and all-loving person when I'm filled with such bitterness. Oh, the irony.
Actually, I think being a Gemini contributes to that as well. I'm even confused by myself, sometimes. Maybe that's my answer to Wai Yee, when she said I'm hard to read. I guess I do try to make myself hard to read and get all upset when people read me wrongly. Haha, why is my brain so screwed up?