Emo.
♥Tuesday, November 02, 2010.
Been a while since I felt so down. Emotions have all been pushed aside to focus on the exams, or in my case, fret about it all day and do nothing in the end. But this is pretty impossible for me, because I still need my personal time and when I finally get some today, I don't even dare to face myself. I can't understand the mess that is me. All I keep hearing are thoughts flooding into me, wave after wave, and it hurts. It hurts to know that I still can't love myself for who I am. I'm sorry, it's such a weak reason.
I feel the pain, when I hurt other people. My parents, my friends, all the people important to me. When I act like a bitch to others, I feel like I need to be one to myself to ease the pain of seeing others hurt. It probably sounds dumb, but the logic in my mind is pretty fucked up, I admit.
I never as hell want to see people upset, because they don't deserve to be.
I'm tired. Tired of the heavy armour and fanciful mask I wear.
Just let me be, for tonight. I promise, I'll come back as the joyful girl I am, tomorrow.
|| At 12:19 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||