Scraped through Econs today. Hurhur. Because its an Arts subject I felt like I could still crap something out (even if it sounds more like GP than Econs), but I'm officially screwed. Er especially for tomorrow. Chemistry. Where even an addition C or a wrongly placed OH matters. WTF?!

Sorry, I just had to express my anger and frustration.

Now, why didn't I take Arts subjects? And no, Arts people, I'm not undermining your hard work and effort and intelligence, but because I, as an individual, can only pray hard for myself to make some sense. Oh, which I absolutely need, as of now.

Tonight, I'm really not going to sleep. Contrary to what I said yesterday night, I had a good night sleep last night. Which is really shameful, seeing how much I've studied for Econs. Which means tonight, if I still manage to sleep in peace, I'm an asshole. Period.

Can someone come over to my house and smash my laptop for me? (Just leave that hard disk alone okay.) First, I'll get over downloading. Second, I'll have an excuse to get a new laptop to replace this sorry thing. Maybe its because of all the torture I cause it. Like, 30+ Chrome tabs at once (including Youtube videos and download sites.) I'm surprised it hasn't entirely died on me yet. Although its pushed me very far to my limits recently, I'm almost tempted to slam it on the floor, but its still serving me well. Its been surviving for what, 5 to 6 years? Gosh. I need a new computer. And a proper desktop this time. With a tablet.

Haha fat hope. Unless money drops from the sky.

Okay here's the stop of this mundane and redundant post. Finally off to study Chem. AHHHHHHH

I've done nothing today. What the. I'm screwed for these two weeks, I tell you. and the weeks and months after. This is worrying.

Uncertainty. Of course, I want to do that, I've planned it out. But the future seems bleak when my mum says that sort of thing. Come on, you think I've not thought about it before? I'm not as dependent as you see me to be.

I'm spending way too much on albums. Ordered some stuff online. Haha like repackaged Bonamana and CNBlue's Bluelove. I want NU ABO. :( Any kind soul buy it for me?

And let me rant awhile. F(x) is kind of underrated here.

Damn. I wanna watch WGM ): GO GU MA!! Haha maybe subs will be out soon. Hopefully, as promised. And Khuntoria. Wahas.

Okay I need to pull an all-nighter. I'm such an ass.

Catching up on past episodes and I'm really facinated by Kangin. Hahaha. He's absolutely funny and charming.

And besides fangirling, I haven't done much. I dread to think about this.

I've been thinking about something all this while, but I don't know how things are going to turn out. I know its a risky path. Its going to be tough; I've never expected it to be easy. But how do I convince them that I'm mature enough to decide on my own? The situation is somehow getting similar to last year's. But I know I won't slip in again. Because I know its not going to help. Just because situations are like that, does not mean I will have to react that way.

Its scary. Really. Knowing what you've been studying is happening right now is traumatizing.

Sigh.

I don't know whether they're doing this on purpose. But its despicable to make use of such a situation to your own advantage. I don't care what people say, but I despise that. Don't force me to do things I don't wish to do; don't put me in such a spot.

In 1 year's time, where will you be?

In 5 year's time, where will you be?

In 10 year's time, where will you be?

Dreams.

Faith.

Will I be where I want to be?

All sorts of rubbish.

I'm gonna end up eating ants in my sleep. I think its time to tape my mouth shut, literally.

I see more ants. There's nothing sweet, what on earth are you looking for?!

Not in a wonderful mood.

Get out of my sight.

Anyway, was at Jurong Point and they were having auditions for One Moment of Glory (OMG). Er, I'll choose to ignore the originality of the name. But there was this card-throwing guy who was damn cool. He shot a card up to Starbucks where I was at. And he freaking cut a celery with a card. Amazing.

All right. Bed time.

对不起，那只是对自己的无知感到惋惜，绝无他意。

刚过了十八岁，突然觉得，经历了好多事，看过了好多人。忘了是谁说的；十八岁代表已经过了人生的四分之一，想一想，还真没错。真恐怖。中间，喜欢的人，讨厌的人，看多了。

近来发生了一件让我火大的事，想了都有点想吐。虽然我很想用这篇文章泄愤，但还是免了，有点懒。气得想骂粗话。唉。

不想写了。好虚伪的感觉。

‘常问自己，到底在找寻什么，在追什么，却没一个让自己满意的答案。’

‘最终还不是要死，追屁啦。假仙。这是此时此刻的答案，说不定就成了最好的答案（对我来说）。’悲观，但至少诚实。

最近脑里常有类似的对话，我看是坏掉了。恨死自己了。

Awesomeness! PLUGGED IN! :D

MINHYUK IS OWNING BIG TIME. Haha Please glue your eyes to him while he twirls the drum sticks like its attached to his hand. *Squeals* Look at 2:50! ><>

真爱遇上真心
喜结美丽缘份
花放并蒂 天公设计
认真相配合衬

乍看之下可能不明白意思吧，但是看戏时肯定觉得词真的是非常搭。戏中的诗词，也让人耳目一新（虽然让我有时一头雾水，因为真的不懂是什么意思，还要上网查；中文程度真是糟糕啊。）但是看了戏之后很想更深入了解诗的含义，所以到处爬文，总算略知一二，但还是很可惜中文造化还是不及别人，似懂非懂。

我还真喜欢看古装剧呢。脱离现实的一种方式吧！真有点向往古代人的生活。唉。

And I'm tired.

Last trip there ever. Damn. I feel like a maid.

Sleep.

And thanks everyone. :D I'm feeling loved. :)

And my birthday..uh..went by just like any other day. All right, I shall not discount the fact that I did not do any work today. (Oh just like the past 3 days. Guh..)

But I indeed spent 1 hour+ squeezing with smelly people at PC Show. (Okay, to be fair, I'm sure I was smelly too.) And its a freaking Friday. Haha good luck to those going tomorrow or Sunday. Oh wait, I need to make a trip there again tomorrow. Gosh.

Bought a hard disk for my com. A permanent external hard disk so I can move some of my files out and free up some memory. And I kind of need one more, because this one I'm using now is filling up fast. :P

And to sidetrack a little, I just saw two fat lizards in my room. Traumatizing, please.

Going Malaysia tomorrow. How fun. I'll be happily studying in the hotel.

Anyway, being 18 feels..surreal. Haha.

Anyway, its 2. I shall go sleep.