I kinda need to get myself busy, so I have no time to feel sad or wasted or anything. But how do I, when I have no drive, no motivation, no discipline? I feel like that every freaking day, and I'm tired of it. I'm really tired of it. I can't sleep well, I can't think well. I can't act well.

I'm really sorry, but I can't stop myself from doing so. I know its hurting you, and I'm hurting too. But I can't let it out, I don't know how to. I need to talk, but I don't know how to. I heard about it, and its hurting me even more. Please take care of yourself. Just let me rot away. I don't give a damn.

Maybe Charlene is right. I don't really care anymore. I don't give a damn about things anymore. Maybe I'm apathetic, but honestly I don't want to be fretting over stuff that I'm uncapable of changing. Maybe I'm contradicting myself, badly, but I honestly don't want to care about things I don't want to care about. Maybe I used to care, maybe I used to try, maybe I used to dream, that one day it will change, one day I will change it. But I realised nothing could. And everything just went downhill from then on.

Not in the mood to function. Right. I'm denatured. Hurhur.