Extreme high was of course POP! OMG APOLLO WON THE FAC DANCE COMPETITION! LIKE AHHHHHHHHHH! We were damn high especially at the moment they announced Apollo! LIKE OMG OMG OMG! It was a moment of laughter, screams, joy and tears (of joy, of course). And it really felt like all our efforts paid off. ESPECIALLY SIYU AND ANZAI, AND NOT FORGETTING OUR FAC HEADS ALFRED AND YINGMING! (: AND WHOLE OF APOLLO! (: It was tiring, going home late everyday, with trainings and fac dance practices. But it never failed to cheer me up that there was always fac dance training (albeit left only a few people, haha) even after training! OMG AND I WAS DAMN HIGH! Like OMG! And yes, I SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY LOVE APOLLO! (: 

AND OMG I SERIOUSLY LOVE 09S73 TOO! (: Like everyone was mugging dance! And I'm really really really really proud to be in this class! LOVE YALL! (: And truth or dare was funny! Haha Zhensheng is the ultimate EVIL! LOL. We need to have him around for every truth or dare session man. Haha!

Phew, it got my adrenaline pumping just typing that paragraph. Cause I'm still in the extreme low state so its very hard to recreate the high-ness I was in at the point in time. 

And seriously, just thinking about it makes me feel like I'm going to be torn to pieces. I don't know who to talk to, how to talk and seriously I'm at a freaking loss right now. And someone just popped me that question again. Haha. Is it meant to be this way? 

I wonder how she felt. :S Seriously I think I can empathise with her. And I realise that I admire her because she went through all the shit. All the criticisms.  

It freaking hurts. Seriously. To know about it, know about who. And its freaking tempting. But like I was just telling someone, I will feel like a fake/poser for doing that. But, the more I'm asked about it, the more unsure I am; about my answer and about my actions. 

I think everything in my life is really screwed up now. Studies, netball. Like I've said in one of the previous posts before, these are the only things I have now. These are the only things that are hanging on to my sanity. But it feels to me that both of them are slipping away slowly. Its uncontrolable. And I'm putting all my chances on it now. If I don't get it, these two years are going to be a torture for me. I really really really want it. 

I'm such a selfish piece of shit. Freak.