Oops updates. Got my PSP. (: Although its 2nd hand. Haha but whatever, nail polish remover does wonders. (: AND I GOT MY DJ MAX QUATTRA EDITION. (: From Comics Connection. *GRINS* Although I think I quite suck at the game (but pardon me, I'm a newb at this game manz.) It just feels great to see the big black box sitting there in my room. (: And I think I've spent every single cent of my pay so far. Dang. Cause I bought 2 jdramas but apparently have no time to watch them. But they cost less than $10 combined, so I'm not complaining. (: 

Ahh come on I want to be a taitai. ): And play mahjong all day. ): Damn, when will my dream come true. ):

I think I'm moving in the direction of an otaku. :P

I'm feeling really random lately. Wahas. 

Okay some parts of my post just got chopped off cause I accidentally closed the window. And I shall go surf around abit more before I sleep. GOODBYES.

Chalet was just over. Like 2 days ago. Boo. ): Dang. Like, I totally expected myself to cry this chalet, but I think I wasn't feeling as overwhelmed as I think I should. Maybe its better for me that way. And although I must say I'm still quite disappointed with the turnout rate of Sec 1 and 2s, I think we really ought to thank all the Sec 1s, 2s and 3s who actually turned up. And especially thank the Sec 3s, because they had to help with the cooking even though they were supposed to be slacking already. So thanks for making our chalet such a slack one for us. (: And I really loved our dinner(s). (: All three meals were great okay. (: Wahas. And I was complaining to my mum about the horrible slackness of us at our chalet. Where we just ate like pigs, slept like pigs and play cards like pigs. Lol. Seriously, look at all that built up fats from chalet. (And my past two days of slacking my ass off, but I'll get to that in the next post.) 

Anyways. Thanks to the juniors who listened to our every whim and unreasonable requests to get bread and nutella even though they were going to run out of money any moment. 

Contemplating whether to blog on our whereabouts for the three days in chalet, but I think thats kind of .. boring. Seeing as we were constantly pigging out and playing cards. At least Qitian they all went to kayak/canoe (actually I'm not too sure.) And Qitian and Claire's morning walk by the beach. Oh and our bowling day. I think we just stoned around and went to Tampines mall and yea, that's basically what we did for our 3 days. Haha. Hey, but its the people that matters all right. (:

Shall dedicate the rest of this post to my teammates and juniors. (: Doubt most of them will see it though. Haha. Sorry, I luo suo, chalet never say enough. Haha. And I can't believe my nervous-ness during the last night. Haha. 

To my beloved teammates! (: Like I've always said, thanks for being there and for putting up with my horrible moodswings. And I know I haven't been the best captain from Sec 1 to Sec 3 because I felt like I didn't actually do much. Especially seeing how we were split up so early and it was almost impossible to close up the gap between us. And it really hurts me to have some of you only as hi-bye friends and nothing else, even though we were supposed to be teammates. Maybe we're all too busy with our own lives, but that's a rather lame excuse, isn't it? But I want to apologise for not being the teammate/captain/friend that you and I wanted me to be. 

To Vernice (: Our lovely captain who took over just when things were really bad and managed to pull all of us through it all. (: I really really want to say thank you! Because I'm not even confident of saying that I would have done a better job than you did. (: And I think you're really strong, because besides last year's chalet, I have never seen you breakdown in front of us, no matter how much you suffered. And thanks for being there for us, because we know you'll always be there to keep an eye out for us. And like I said during chalet, I'm truly sorry about what happened in Sec 1. And thank you for forgiving us and still treating us as your friends. (: And I still remember the times we went out to laugh at soft toys. (: Hoho. Childish us. (: But I don't think I'm going to be able to do that with anyone ever again. So I'll probably jio you out when I'm feeling like laughing at soft toys again. (: And no, I will NOT let you slap me. Of course, unless you let me slap you back. (: 

To Claudia. (: Our vice-captain who is a full-time clown. (: Thanks for entertaining us throughout these four years. Haha! There isn't ever a dull moment with you around. (: Although we became not so close in Sec 3 and 4, still want to thank you for all the encouragements on and off court. (: Will never forget the times we've had as partners on court! (: And our Friday dinner cum gossip sessions and our once or twice DDDs. (: Was just looking through some of the past notes you gave. Haha. Why were we called sarcastic partners ah? Was it because during weights training we managed to demoralise each other? Haha. And I still remember you were our maboon. (: 

To Jenzi! (: Oh my goose. I am still looking through letters and I can't believe how bloody lame we were. Haha. And I forgot who is ZZZ! Haha. Its in one of your letter to me! I type in a bit, maybe you can remember and tell me. Haha. "ZZZ is dao only in school. Outside school shes damn friendly lah! SHE RAWKS SHE RULEZ!!" Haha, come on, enlighten me. (: And I see lalala. I think I know who she is. Haha. I think. Oh another letter. "Lalala is oso damn chio but zzz is chio-er." Okay. I somehow think I know who ZZZ is already. Haha. And I think I'm spoiling your reputation by typing what you wrote. Haha. Too bad you're my teammate and I still keep your letters. :P I still remember our retarded ass MSN convos. Laushee and shooair sheng. (: And we pok-fied our whole team's names. Haha. (And I'm sorry to say, I'm getting really distracted looking at letters. Haha So I might not get to finish with my post tonight. Lol. There'll be a continuation, I promise. (: I'll see how far I go into my letters before I start typing again. (: )

Paiseh. I sidetrack awhile. Dang, I just dug up our speech to Ms Loo! Hahahahahaha. Damn funny okay. I shall type out in one of the next few posts for all of us to reminiscence. (: Wah lao, first line sounds like love letter can. Haha.

To Joleeeeeeeeeen. (: Yays. (: I'm reading your ugly-ly decorated letter from I forgot when. Haha. Ultraly glittery. And what was with the "squirt you" thing ah. Haha. Man. And I think our letters, you and mine, mine and Jenzi's, revolve around seniors. Hahaha. And you didn't know my favourite colour then! LOL. I think I talk alot about you already. Haha. Like chalet and in the card in Kolkata. (Dang I almost spelt double "ta", like Kolkatata. Hahas.) Yays. (: Thanks for being such a great friend! 

And I'm sorry, the paragraphs are going to get shorter, because I'm getting tired and out of things to say. :P

To Shiyu, since I'm looking through your letters now. :P Haha. We've had lots of names huh. Lao ah mas, yunfus (oh plus Vernice and Jenzi isit? Hahaha) and I still remember you were fast as lightning. (: Not bad I still remember. And I still remember you lost my letter to you on which I wrote big big "Grace rocks." Haha. But its all right, since Lishian saw your letter to me with big big "Minzhen rocks" on it. (: So we're even. (: Lol. Craziness lah. Remember we used to keep talking about Ms Loo. ): Still miss her big time huh. ): Still, thanks for being so retarded with me throughout these years. (:

Okay so far I think I've been through everyone who I wrote to before. Haha. 

To Xingxuan! (: Yo woman. (: Haha I think I have never been very close to you at any point of time since Sec 1 leh. Haha. Wonder why also. But I think I'll remember your cheeky smile. Haha. And your irritating deep dimples. LOL. And what I want to say to you I tell you during chalet already, so I shall not repeat. (:

To Yingyan! (: Wheeeee. (: Haha same thing, what I want to say I also tell you le. :P But thanks for being such a great listener! (: You're always very willing to listen to our problems! (: And thanks for taking all my veggie for me. (:

To Qi Tian! (: Wahas. (: Like I said, I think i have more impression of you as my classmate than as my teammate. (: But its still funny to remember the Sec 1 times. (: Like the time we went around the school before what we thought was training and the massive amount of soya bean I drank that day. :P And you helped me with my blogskins before. (: Haha. And with helping me put music on my blog. LOL. And you've always been the technology whiz of our team, I realize. (:

To Li Ying! (: Yoz. (: I think I only got closer to you this year, but more so as a classmate as well. :P Thanks for always hearing me complain about stuff! Haha! (: I miss dance! We must go find more lessons okay! (:

To Kah Hsing! (: Yays! I remember we always end up chitchating on court one! Cause most of the time no action one. Hahaha. Then we just chitchat. (: I also have more memories with you as classmates I think! Like we used to go out with Cheryl they all. (: But I hope you'll continue netball! (:

To Soo Han! (: Hey! (: I think I've gotten slightly closer to you only this year, because you came down more often in the mornings! (: Like I said during chalet, I think you're really positive and cheerful and fun to be around! (: Haha I'll miss your laughters! (:

To Claire! (: Yo! (: I think what I want to say I also said during chalet le. (: Although we probably don't have much memories together, I hope you will treasure the little memories we have together as a team and I will treasure my memories with you too! (: 

To Hui Kin! (: Hey! (: I think you're fun to be with, but a little bit blur! :P I know that I'm also not very close to you, but also thank you for always helping out with stuff related to art. :P And paiseh for always bullying you to do them. :P

To Li Qin! (: YO! (: Haha! Thanks for always being so cheerful and joyful! I think I've almost never seen you sad before! (: And I think you're really very friendly. (: Haha, even to our juniors. (: Oh yah, they also mentioned they remember you waving wilding when you see juniors. (: Hahaha. (:

To Mei Ling! (: Heyhey (: I don't think I've ever been very close to you, but I think you're overly nice! Haha, like will very easy get bullied one! :S Haha but thanks for being a great teammate whom I can joke with! (:

Okays, not bad I finished my love dedication for my team. (: And its 2.35 am now. Oh mys. Haha. 

I really really will miss being in NYNB. ): Haha I suddenly remember what Jiaomei said about we thinking NYNB's the best. (: Haha I've always felt this way also! And I seriously love this bunch of people who belong to nanyang netball. (: And although this might sound corny, I feel as though the chapter of my life as part of NYNB just ended when we left the chalet. And it felt quite surreal to me, that we're like, technically not part of Nanyang Netball anymore. ): Damn. I'm really afraid that like, few years down the road and I'll forgot this part of my life about NYNB. And even though there are alot of things about Nanyang that I really hope to forget (I'm sorry if this sounds really horrible, but I really don't want to remember some parts about it.), This is definitely a part of my memory which I hope that I don't forget. ): I LOVE NANYANG NETBALL. (:

Arg. I wonder what I'm going to say on the last night. Maybe by the time it reaches me I can't speak anymore. Haha. Dang. Can't I not cry for once?

Leaving soon. Go bathe. Byes. 

The worries I faced a few years back really does seem mundane now. I wonder if my problems now will seem so in the future. I really hope it will. Like, look back and go hahaha, I can't believe I cried over such a chicken thing. I really hope it happens. At least it will lighten my guilt..I guess. Ha. Who am I kidding. 

I don't know how to face them. I don't know how to talk to them. Anymore. I'm probably more of a shame than anything else. Damn. I shouldn't have agreed in the first place. ____. 

____. Seriously, ____. Don't bother with me. I've lost myself.

I miss Kolkata. ): 

And since I'm doing my reflections now I shall blog as well. Haha. Dang, I'll just keep blogging and forget about my reflections. Okay just finished another paragraph of reflections. Phew. I'm really not accustomed to formal writing. 

Haha. I miss my dormmates! (: Ying Yan, Joleen, Pei San, Sheila, Zhen Ping, Rosalind. (Haha that's our sleeping order if you didn't realize. ) (: Our reservoir of food and our gushing river of gossips. (Both of which we managed to clear our by the end of the trip. Well done us. (: ) And our lousy room with no curtains opposite us and the faithful incident of the guy outside Ms Chen's room. :P But I miss our dorm still! I miss the squished up 7 of us on 5 beds. (: And the amazing Joleen who can remember all the humans from our batch. Haha. SHELLS! (or crustaceans, however its spelt.) (: And of course our daily dorm photo! (: And the huge lizards which we thought just kept giving birth to baby lizards. LOL. And our light that constantly requires jiayou-ing. (: And of course, how can I forget, our 'flying' joke. (: And our pigging out at Pizza Hut, attempting to spend all our money. (: I LOVE YALL. (: DORM ONEEEEE. (: Oh I almost forgot, WEIRD FRIENDSHIPS. (: Hahahaha.

I miss my group too! GROUP ONE! (: (I'm in love with ONE, seriously. LOL.) Although I think we're really quiet sometimes. Haha. And I can't really go wild in front of yall (besides the radom outbursts. :P) but I still love yall! (: Remember singing songs on our jeep to irritate Jia Wen and Priscilla. :P And the day back from AOG when our whole jeep was sleeping (except for our driver, of course.) HEARTS. (:

And although I don't really know everyone from our team, I still want to thank everyone for putting up with me during preparations. Haha. Even though there are instances where I bu shuang and you bu shuang, but oh wells, we still made it in the end, so well done us! (: And special mention to JOLEEEEEEEEN (the retard) for sticking by me and doing all the sai jobs I throw her. Haha. Yay (: Go JOs. (: I miss 'da jia chi' at Elijah's house. ): And the romantic blackouts. (:

Of course, I miss the teachers! ): Love yall for nagging us in the absence of our parents, so you were our papas and mamas for the entire two weeks. (: Ms Chen, Ms Khoo, Ms Teng, Ms Koh, Ms Van Dijk, Mr Eric Tan, Mr OM Tan. BIG HEARTS TO OUR TEACHERS. (: 

I still miss Kolkata. ): 

Feels really great to be away from computers and phones for two weeks. Rather it be forever, but I don't think I can make it. Sidetrack a bit, my reflections are not bad, going to one page le. (: But its like 1.49AM now. Haha. Still not tired though. I think my sleeping pattern's getting screwed up again, like it always does during holidays. Slept at 3 AM yesterday. LOL.

Back to my topic on Kolkata, I think I really learnt alot on this trip. And maybe I've grown a bit? I don't know, but I feel ... different. Thought I know myself; some things never change. And some things will always continue to tug at my heart and it hurts even just to see a glimpse of it. 

Dang. Why do I keep digressing. Shall end here, before this post evolves to become an emo post. ):

For the third and final time, I MISS KOLKATA. ):