♥ , My Garden of Eden.

MY NEW LOVE. (:

♥Monday, September 22, 2008.

TAKUMI SAITO IS LOVEEEEEEE. (: Go google/yahoo him while i look for some hot pictures of himwhen I'm finally liberated from work. Which is like half a month later, but yea. (: He is uber cute. (:

Sorry stress gets to me and my secret identity as an ultimate fangirl just surfaces. (:

Aha. He is uber cute, trust me. (:

Anyway, on a higher note, today's appreciation tea was fun! (: Wasn't what I actually expected, but in a good way! (: Not studying was worth it. (: Anyway if anyone sees this, I LOVE CS! The people of course. (: Its not everyday you get to meet such people who make your day just by being there. (:

On a less high note, my revision is screwed up. ZZZ. Shall go sleep. Think I'll die tomorrow during lessons. GOOOOOOOD NIGHT. (:

Feels much better after ranting to Wei Jie through SMS. Haha. Thanks for listening! (: Doubt you'll see this though. :P

|| At 12:49 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

♥Saturday, September 20, 2008.

你能不能不要在每次发飙时，都把旧账都翻开来？

我知道你也很痛苦，但你难道不能不把痛苦发泄在别人身上吗？

其实我发现，我对你说的每一句话，都像是在对自己说的。

我知道，所以我忍耐；

我理解，但是我期待。

期待着你有一天会发现，我是多么的爱你。

|| At 12:45 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

If there's nothing missing in my life, then why do these tears come at night?

♥Thursday, September 18, 2008.

Feeling really really really down today. ): Damn. I really didn't expect myself to get so low for Biology. How am I going to pull it up! My revision is in a stagnant state and I really don't want to do anything to upset people around me. Especially my parents. But what my mum said when she consoled me didn't really help much. I just suck as the only daughter. Sigh.

看見了成績才感到惋惜，似乎已經太遲了。

哭得竭斯底里，現在又有什么用呢？

我知道我是獨生女，對你們來說是個寶貝，

但是你們是否知道，我背負著什么樣的使命？

我不想讓你們難過，不想讓你們失望，

但你們是否看得見，現在的我根本就不是我呢？

我知道你們的痛苦，所以我把悲傷全往心底埋，

一直認為不說出來，就會慢慢像噩夢消失掉。

爸，媽，我真的好愛你們。

可是我不敢與你們分擔，因為你們為我付出的已太多太多。

請你告訴我，我是不是太自私了？

我真的想知道答案。

Off to mug. ): Its such a sad life. ):

|| At 8:00 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Chinese! (:

♥Wednesday, September 17, 2008.

Feeling like typing in Chinese today. Its an interesting experience to emo in Chinese. Lol. Shall blog a while before I go do my math mini mock exam which I failed badly for. ><

十六歲的青春，似乎多了一些悲傷。

自由的天空看似蔚藍，可否聽見我心中的惆悵。

我不是超人，也不是天才，更不是小丑；

請你不要渴望我時時刻刻都面帶微笑。

十六歲的青春，似乎多了一些彷徨。

心就像風箏一樣，想飛到遙遠的地方。

我不是超人，也不是天才，更不是機器人；

我也有感情，請你聽我說話。

十六歲的青春，似乎多了一些傷痕。

初見人間的險惡，心情還能平復嗎？

我不是超人，也不是天才，更不是木頭；

我聽得到也看得到，請你不要傷害我。

十六歲的青春，似乎多了一些絕望。

知不知道答案，變成了最重要的問號。

我不是超人，也不是天才，更不是電腦；

我真的不知道答案；你是否能聽見我心中的呼喊？

Okay shall stop being 多愁善感。Lol. Have fun understanding 繁體字。(: I like. (:

|| At 9:43 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Unproductive.

♥Monday, September 15, 2008.

Had jabs for Kolkata today. (: Super exciting. (: At least for me.

This week is a hectic week. (I predict.)

Saw super pretty stuff online. I want! But its super expensive. ): Whee. Shall put up a wishlist to remind me to save up for things. (:

Anyway I really think I suck lor. Like my physics is really CMI. Grr.

And my moodswing lately really really really really sucks. I can't get me.

Haha. Maybe like Joleen says, I'm weird. ><

I feel like I'm speaking to myself. Nevermind.

Anyways. I think I really can't fit in. Like. I feel more like a martian than Jean Tan. (Even though I'm like 99.9% she is a martian. (: MEH. (: )

And I shall stop posting rubbish. Since I think no one is looking anyway. Haha. I'm so pathetic.

|| At 9:36 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Shivers.

♥.

I can only say, I feel like I'm not the person I once knew.

I don't understand how I can continue to emo for so long and can't pick myself back up. Or maybe I'm not even trying.

My emotions can form a sine curve. Moodswings past weeks have also seem to make me schizophrenic. I think my life is plain disgusting.

Guess what, I have too many secrets that are unrevealable.

Know what? I really can't wait.

|| At 12:16 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||