Urk. Looking at you dampens my spirit. ):
You too. Do you know how hurt I get when you do that? Excuse me, its not as if I don't know that on my own. Do you have to keep telling it to me in front of me?! I'm just trying to be nice and not explode in front of you, because I still treat you as a good friend. But I can't gurantee I won't if you continue hurting me like its nobody's business.
Sorry about the lately angsty and emo posts. But I don't foresee it ending soon. So avoid my blog if you don't want to get sucked in.
Its just, I still think everything is so superficial. Its like returning to when I was in primary school and I was so scared of the world I live in was fake that I kept asking my mum whether the world we live in is real or is it a dream. Which seemed really possible at the time that I was probably a dream of a very very old person and when the dream ends I am nothing but a thought that was once inside the head of someone. I feel that everything is so unreal. People too.
I FOUND A 知己！Okay wait, is that how you say it? Because we were just talking last night, after PSLC, and I realized Pei Ying has the same goals as me! (: Like, we actually secretly want to go Ngee Ann poly and go into mass communcations! Oh my. And if I'm not wrong she wants to be a housewife too. (: Yay! (: I sound very 另类 but whatever. But I was just telling her about how I wanted to join Hwa Chong and continue playing netball. So I don't know. Like, in the four years in Nanyang, going to Hwa Chong is like, confirmed. But I realized this year that, it probably isn't the best for me. Since I'm not like the smartest or anything so I don't really want to be a face in the crowd among such smart people. And please, my interest is not like, in studying and knowledge or anything like that. I'm just a simple minded person who wants to lead a simple life. Which leads me to wonder whether I was right in coming here. Actually I will still make the same decision in coming to Nanyang (although the rules make me a bit angry sometimes), and it sounds cliche to say this, but I think I wouldn't be what I am now without NY. All the good and bad parts of me (like seeing how its making me emo and angry and all that.
OHOH and I signed up for the PITCH '08 conference. (: Exciting. (:
Anyway, I really really really need to start studying but I am still struggling with the damn lots of homework from the holiday. Sorry to be such a failure. ><