♥ , My Garden of Eden.

It's a Gemini thing. (:

♥Sunday, August 19, 2007.

Hi people. Anyway I'm back being my crazy self. Guess it's a Gemini thing. (: Someday I might just develop split personalities, but until then, it'll just be me. (: Was reading fictionpress and oh gosh. It's sort of wrenching my heart out. Please its so sweet and bitter at the same time I want to cry. HAHA. And I agree with everything QW said on her blog.

It's like, 3am, and I'm hooked onto the story. And it isn't complete. Meaning I must wait and wait and wait. Grah. But it's a really well developed kind of plot, just the characters are a bit..weird. Haha. Can't really explain. But whatever. I'm back to reading. (: TATA. (:

|| At 3:20 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Another emo post.

♥Saturday, August 18, 2007.

Sorry I can't help it but it's going to be another emo post. I really can't help it. I really can't help ANYTHING. My mum's refusing to eat her medicine and she's acting like the whole world owes her money. And it isn't helping that my tears just keep flowing. I miss the mother who would always smile and laugh. Someone who says "nevermind" and really mean it. And it isn't as though I blame her now or anything. I rather put the blame on myself. I'm just really sorry that my PSLE score had to be THAT lousy. Hello, I wish I was dead.

Hold it right there if you're going to lecture me on thoughts about suicide. No thanks, I would never ever try that, because I am stupid coward. And no, I do not actually think I'm suffering from depression. One in the family is ENOUGH. Really. And trust me, it feels darn lousy when you come home smiling and your face just dims down when you see her frown. It just turns your whole mood upside down.

Sorry if I'm supposed to be your role model and whatever and whatever and whatever. Because there are times when I really feel like breaking down. But really, I'm trying.

I'm really really trying hard to help. But I'm truly at fault, because I'm such a useless daughter. And please, stop lying to me. Do you think I would believe that you have been eating your medicine regularly? Do you think I can't see through that lie? Please it's so obvious. I'm definitely not a single bit oblivious to what's happening around me. Don't treat me like a fool. I don't know how to react to you; when you're so down and all. I can only cry secretly and pray. Do you know how much you are breaking my heart?

I'm truly not in the mood to do anything. So go away.

|| At 9:50 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

♥Wednesday, August 08, 2007.

Jocelyn Ang shall stop wallowing in self pity because that's really lousy. But she's feeling lousy anyway. And of course, she can't wait for ALL these to end. What else, tell her, what else can she do besides giving an empty smile and say jiayou. ): Fine. Jiayou Jocelyn.

Tomorrow's cross country. ): Yucks.

Today was just a very..____ day. Not in the mood now.

Suddenly thought of the song Avondale. ):

If you're gonna rip my heart out
Could you use a knife that's dull
And rust in color
Once I die
There will be no way that you can cover
That scar. It's hard, I know.

Grah. Mind's in a total mess right now. 再见。

|| At 12:02 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Longgggg. (:

♥Sunday, August 05, 2007.

HI HI HI. Haven't blogged in AGES. Anyway this week is EXCITING. (: As in of course COMING week. (: HOLIDAYS. Meaning I can hog the computer for I don't know how long. (: Aiyah even if I don't use no one else will. (:

Anyway, I feeling rather restless now. I wonder why. (:

Oh btw, translation was quite fun. (: KAMIKAZE GIRLS! (: That's the movie we watched on Friday. I think it's really good can. Haha. But it's based on personal preference, like our teacher said. Because you can love it or hate it. (:

Anyway I'm really ________ now. Fill in the blank on your own.

Shall continue neopets-ing. (: BYE. (:

|| At 9:34 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||