♥ , My Garden of Eden.

CSM ):

♥Monday, April 30, 2007.

Today, we had CSM. Feeling rather poo-ed out by the SNR. ): But nevermind, at least we tried!! (: GO OT! (: Wahaha. Bah. Have to do post mortem.

Went for council outing! (: FUN CAN! Haha. Was laughing like mad over Liang Hui's extremely funny stories. Thanks Lynn for the fishball noodles! (: Went to Serene Centre after that to eat ICE CREAM. (: YIPEE. Then we went up to second floor and played truth or truth. HAHA. Making loads of noise over there. (: But it was fun!! (: YAY! I LOVE COUNCIL! (:

Went to coro to change. Saw the sec threes there. (:

Went to Cineleisure to watch 200 Pounds Beauty with Claudia, Jenzi, Joleen and Xing Xuan. (: I WANT WANT WANT THE OST. (: When it's out, I'll get my hands on it. (: YAY. Her voice damn nice can. (: Then went Paragon and Takashimaya. Jenzi and Xing Xuan went back after we went to Paragon. Haha then we talked about a lot of extremely funny stuff. Especially that Claudia Sng. Joleen and I were saying she ren very long already, then she suddenly got very high and did a lot of rubbish stuff lah.

WEEHEEHEE. I FEEL HONOURED. (: HAHAHA! I'm feeling damn egoistic now. (:

Oh and I passed my mortal letter today. (: Yay. But I think she knows. ): HAHA. But don't worry. I'll continue writing. I hope my angel writes to me SOON! (: So exciting. And I almost wanted to buy pretty paper to write today lah. Thankfully Joleen discouraged me from spending too much money. But I got nice paper already. (: Specially for my mortal. (: Yay. Okay. Shall go stone a bit now. Got Chinese SIA meeting tomorrow morning. (: DAMN EARLY CAN. ): Haha nevermind. Shall be NICE. (: Okay. BYE! (:

|| At 9:30 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

PRE CSM BLUES

♥Sunday, April 29, 2007.

Hello (: Today is like, the least emo day of the week. Oh well I just felt total crap yesterday. ): SIGH. ):
Somehow it didn't go like I expected (and wanted). Maybe because you weren't there, and there was just this emptiness which I felt when others, not you, commented. I'm really affected by you I guess. But since you have your reasons, I'll be insensitive if I don't let you be. OH WELL.

YIPEE. Today we did Biology SIA. (: Quite fun can! HAHAHA. Just a bit screwed at the beginning. :P And not bad okay! The ants didn't die! Aiyah but we ended up not using them. I think they were too oxygen deprived to even climb up the plastic bag into the drinks. HAHA. And we did powerpoint for Physics also! So accomplished can!! WE ROCK. (:

Went to KAP with Haidee and Qian Wen after that. And we talked for 3+ hours can! Gossips, inside news and a lot of other crap lah! HAHA! Damn fun lah. (: Didn't feel like leaving at all. (: So we talked until around 6 p.m. (: THE ASS CLUB. (: DAMN FUNNY CAN! (:

Then went for NSL. (: HMM.

Yikes. I'm totally stressed out about SNR ( student novelty race). Very scared anything goes wrong. EEKS. JIAYOU EVERYONE!! WE'LL MAKE IT ROCK! (:

Okay. I'm off to sleep. Because I'm going NSL tomorrow!! (: YAY! Claudia's going in the afternoon! (: Okay. Shall go sleeeeeeeeeeeeep now. OH YES. FRIDAY NIGHT WAS SUCH A SHIOK NIGHT BECAUSE I SLEPT FROM 12AM TO 10AM. SO SHIOK CAN. TO COMPENSATE FOR THE WHOLE WEEK'S SLEEP. (:

|| At 1:07 AM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Life now..SUCKS.

♥Monday, April 23, 2007.

Grah. Was just having a nice long 1hour+ chat with my mum. About how I screwed my math. And got other things as well lah. And was feeling rather sad. I WANT MATH TUITION. So extremely irritating when I really feel I'm trying my best to study, but the results I get doesn't always reflect that. Seriously, I don't think anyone feels the stress in me to perform. ): Maybe because MY kind of score is something they will never get in ages, and if they just do half the paper they can get the same marks as me. Oh well. Sorry if I suck that much. ):

I think you're the one sounding fake. CHE. You don't even have respect for anyone anymore. You're just living in that small world of yours, believing that you're always right. But seriously, if that really is your wish, at least prove to us. If you cannot even complete this small task assigned to you, there's no point talking about bigger ventures. Please, start from WITHIN. There's no point having so many meetings if you can't learn from them.

And from what I see, I feel that it's useless doing this anymore. I don't exactly like learning from someone who doesn't preach what she says. Whatever great, ideal human nature you've come up with, you're not even following it yourself. Look, if you can LIE, I don't see how you can carry on your long speech about how I can't. Seriously, I wish I could just get you out of my life. ): But I guess I can't. I'm totally looking forward to next, next year. Or even next year, where you have NO control over me anymore.

WALALA. BIG FAT SLACKER STONING HERE. And I suspect she has low blood pressure due to all the lack of whatever whatever vitamins or something. ><>< And I asked for it myself. Che.
Shall go study Bio now. In case I have to get tuition for another subject. BYE.

|| At 7:11 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

Heartache.

♥Sunday, April 22, 2007.

我的心好痛。):
Seriously. I'm damn sad and depressed now. I saw it. And the arrow seems to pierce through my heart, one by one. ): And this feeling SUCKS.
Grah. I feel like dying. ): As in seriously. Just to escape it all. But I refuse to give IT up. IT's the ONLY thing I'm not willing to leave behind. ):

I feel like I'm the suckiest person in this whole wide world can. ><>< And guess what, it sucks to know you're such a failure. ):

WAGAGAGAGOO. Shall do a quiz koped from Vernice's blog. And I'm really sorry I haven't linked you yet. :P

SCHOOL CONFESSIONS
[x] Talked back to a teacher.
[ ] Been kicked out of class.
[ ] Worn pajamas to school.
[ ] Had your tooth fall out at school. not at school.
[x] Gotten lost in your school.
[x] Broken the dress code in school.
[x] Completely failed a test. DUH. I've a talent in that if you haven't already realised.
[ ] Left class without asking.
[ ] Missed a whole week of school.
[x] Thrown up in school. LOL. In primary school.
[ ] Been beaten up at school.

HOME LIFE CONFESSIONS
[x] Argue with your parents a lot. Yikes. I'm a bad KIDDO.
[ ] Argue with your brother(s) a lot.
[ ] Argue with your sister(s) a lot.
[ ] Have your own room.
[ ] Do your own laundry.
[ ] Cook dinner once in a while.
[x] Are loud and obnoxious at home.
[ ] Wear pajamas when you are not going anywhere. Mm. I don't have pajamas. (:
[x] You sleep in very long.
[ ] Your parents are separated.
[ ] One or both of your grandparents live with you.

FRIEND CONFESSIONS
[x] You currently dislike one or more of your friends.
[ ] You are jealous of one or more of your friends. I won't be jealous of friends. (:
[ ] You have known a friend your whole life.
[ ] Your friends are all taller than you.
[x] You have been ditched by a friend.
[ ] You have memorized a friends phone number.
[x] You have lost/forgotten a friends phone number.
[ ] You have been to all of your friends houses.

HABIT CONFESSIONS
[x] You bite your nails. AH HUH.
[ ] You have an odd obsession with giraffes.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door closed.
[ ] You cannot sleep with the door open.
[x] There is at least one sound you cannot stand.

LOVE CONFESSIONS
[ ] You currently like someone.
[ ] You want to kill one of your exes.
[ ] You can stay commited for an unusually long time.
[x] You get bored of your crush/bf/gf easily.
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you a bitch before.
[ ] A crush/bf/gf has called you self-centered before.

PERSONAL OPINION CONFESSIONS
[x] Gay marriage is fine by you.
[ ] The beach is an excellent place for a date.
[ ] Pink is an ugly color.
[x] Needles aren’t so horrible.

HAVE YOU EVER CONFESSIONS
[x] Fallen down the stairs. How about, twice in a row? WELL DONE.
[x] Someone has tied your shoelaces together.
[x] Had a nail fall off. Hmm. What makes you think I even HAVE nails to fall off.
[ ] Had surgery.
[ ] Slapped someone across the face. Although I totally want to do that.
[ ] Killed someone.

POOOOO. Okay. Just saw someone's blog. Seems to be doing well. Just forget that person. No point remembering anymore. (:

I realise being in 302 is really scary. As in, DUH I LOVE my class, but the way they can hand in homework punctually EVERY SINGLE TIME freaks me out. I think I'm having a totally BIG problem with that. Hmm. But it's not as though I don't hand homework in on time. (Seriously this year, so far, is my best year. For punctuality, that is.) I do, and I've been on par with everyone for submission so far! But the stress is damn scary. ><>< Xia si wo le. :S

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH. Lousy woman here shall go do her yue du bi ji. Hopefully I can churn out some sort of gan xiang about the articles. :S

|| At 11:00 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

YOU SUCK.

♥Saturday, April 21, 2007.

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN TRYING TO CHEER ME UP (:

Yucks. I'm feeling totally DISGUSTED by a particular SOMEONE. GRAH. If you TOTALLY feel the need, you can take over me ANYTIME and call the shots. IF you ever realise, we are ONE, and YOU are not everything. Please get that right. Be grateful I didn't confront you about it that day itself in front of everyone, but rest assure I'll talk to you about it. I only have one question to ask you. 如果你的举动出自热忱，我能接受。但如果是三分钟热度，后果，你能承担吗？

And now, I'm only able to look forward to FRIDAY. (:

Aiyah. Why doesn't blogger allow me to hide my post! I want to post private stuff also cannot. CHE.

Grah. I'm such a big fat slacker who should be studying now. Like, NOW. So I shall stop being such a pig and go study. BYE.

|| At 7:46 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||

EMO SHIT.

♥Sunday, April 15, 2007.

My heart is aching; it's seems to be decaying bit by bit, and the pain gradually fades into numbness. You're the only reason why I've not left. Or maybe, I just don't dare to. Che, I'm just that coward. But I have been working so hard just not to lose you, because no one else knows how important you are to me, and I would be better off dead if I didn't have you to accompany me. Sweat, tears, blood. You're the one who did this to me, but I won't blame you, because I'm really scared I'll lose you; and that's why I have to hide, those scars, behind that smile.

Fine. Shall stop emo-ing. But I'm totally sad now because of the stress just to keep going on. And feeling sympathetic towards Sanzo because I feel like I can't bear the weight of the world anymore. ><

It's been extremely long before I've blogged and my comeback entry is an emo one. WELL DONE. I'm very scared now, because I can't afford to screw up this round of tests anymore. NO ONE _______ knows how I feel. Just shut up and leave.

Seeing you so frail and weak reminds me of myself. It's like a cruel reflection. I saw your post and I can't explain how I feel. Or maybe I'm numb to it already.

Oh well. Save your comments for yourself. Because 'you' isn't even a person, and give up guessing, there's no point. At all.

|| At 9:48 PM, Jocelyn thought so.♥ ||