Serious. Sometimes I really think like that, like times when I get horrible muscle aches after fitness trainings, fall down and get a horribly deep cut on my knee, blue-black everywhere, sunburnt skin, cracked heel, hardened skin on soles.
Of course, I'm thinking why am I so insistent about this. About continuing this cycle. But I guess, it's just something I can't explain. I could just give up and get somewhere else, with a different skill. But it's just something about it I can't give up; something about it that is so addictive, and always pull you back after you have failed time and again. And I always wonder, what is it.
I'm sitting in front of the computer. Thinking. About my knee, about today's game, about Physics test, about many many things. Yet I could only focus on why I feel for it so much. Why do I chiong so much and give in so much? The only reason that I found, is that I love that feeling. The feeling of running on court, preparing to intercept, hearing cheers from supporters and most importantly, the encouragements from teammates. It just gives me the reason to try my absolute best.
I'm feeling really beat and battered. Runny nose, slight cough, two bandaged knees, deep cut on my hand, sunburns, mouth ulcers, cracked heels, hardened skin. But that is so NOT going to ruin my anticipation of tomorrow's training. I seriously hope it would be like Friday's training.
NYNB. Jiayou! B'div, I know everyone is stressed. Especially after the first match. The fact that we have to beat MG is crashing down on everyone's back. Anxious, worried, nervous. It's probably what we feel when we are reminded of that. We know that. Yet we can only try to ignore that feeling. But we have to jiayou! No matter what match we are playing, we play our best.
I'm not sure. But I'm just really disappointed in myself today. But I shall reflect. And I shall try. Try to forget that. And CHANGE.