sigh. i am like, being split into half or smth. half of me wants to study jap. the other half of me hates the moelc. im going to have a war with myself man. sigh. thats probably why im being so moody lately. grr.
i hate myself. i hate the whole wide world. ok fine. see how problematic this is? i loved the world ytd. and now. see lah. suddenly found out that my life sucks. grr. but sigh. just strive harder.
now its like, every single moment i will be repeating stuff in my head for a thousand million times or smth. to quit or not to quit. every single moment i am thinking of that. SAVE ME!!!! should have listened to my mum in the first place shouldnt i? then i wouldnt be in such a plight now. all my fault right. sigh. first thing that pops up in my mind. i want to quit. then next thing that pops up, no you shall not because you still love jap. third, but i dont like their system! fourth, but do you know that your jap can actually pull up your marks or smth? fifth, but i hate it! i hate being so stressed out! i hate the feeling! and it continues...until i probably die of exhaustion or my brain is half dead or smth. i have a feeling im thinking a bit too much. ok probably not just a bit. probably quite a lot. i hate myself.
i hate myself for being so unorganised. i end up having to dig through a whole pile of paper to find a miserable ws that has been horribly crushed. like my movie review which i photocopied today because it was too horrendous to be shown. i found right at the bottom of my bag when i was clearing my bag out. and im currently gan-ing a chuang zuo. its on foolscape because i am out of gao zhi. so now i have to transfer everthing to gao zhi which will probably take up 3 pieces of double sided gao zhi. im mad. and i havent handed in my shuo ming wen becuase i couldnt find it in the pile of rubbish. ok. so i need to buy quite a lot of things. gaozhi, mechanical pencil, 0.28 pens. i lost some. grr. i lost the purple one! the one i loved the most! ok. and also foolscape because im out of that too. and i must rmb to bring a stack of plain paper everyday for geometry. yay. geometry rocks too. algebra rocks more though. see how much stuff im short of. and even if i manage to find another stack of gao zhi or smth in my drawer, it will probably the start of another year. this ALWAYS happens.
oh yes. pathetic facial cleanser isnt really working. grr. wonderful amount of pimples i have on my face.
and im quite angry with myself for making such a bad choice. have i done smth wrong??? yes i have. especially this matter. can i remake my choice???
and currently my sarcarstic partner is feeling very sad because of smth i shall not say. because both of us are quite angry at it. dont worry! i will not erm...discard (thats what you said right?) you. yup. sarcarstic partners!!! forever ____ _______ and ____ ______!!! ok go fill in the blanks. we shall stick!
every single time i stone, i will think about jap. grr.
and now i have this two lines on the back of my hand because we were donig some seriously lame stuff like playing the xiao ming went to the market trick on everybody we see. seriously i think we have pre exam stress or smth. we end up inventing funny funny games to play lor.
i love the song of fa yi x dang an. sorry not in the mood to capitalise my words. nice song. as in the tune is nice. ooh and i want boas album. after exam i am going on a cd shopping spree. and oops. i forgot to help yining check for her fruits basket 17. sorry! shall go check tmr. if you see this just send me another message. if you dont, erm, i will try to rmb. and shes very excited about that book because she heard that yuki wont be with tohru. and im still trying to find marmalade boy but i seem to have given up. ok wait whats the name again? forgot. its so unfair that a person who just pops out of nowhere gets to be with someone. aiyah. dont know what im saying. oh yes and my love hina. from last year until now huh. but nvm. now reading this very very great novel called samurai girl. my gosh. but i cant read it at home or my mum will scream at me. oh and vegan virgin valentine is nice too. read it ytd night. spent around 1hr reading it last night. and i saw my sarcastic partners name inside.
ok what a long and boring post. and i had better start on memorising the script for IPW presentation in the audi next week. must be in there by 10. and our pathetic video needs to be re-edited or smth. ok. lets hope we can at least show 1 min or smth. BLEH. video will be placed in the library. and i discovered 4 spelling errors on the previous cover. then reprinted. but couldnt slot in the cover. then finally had one perfect one. BUT WHATEVER. me and janice took the two dvds.
ok i have to go copy out my chuang zuo now. bye.